Oh, God: Manny Pacquiao tells Him, Mayweather doesn't have prayer

Don’t ask because I can’t tell you.

I had to work, well work like the Devil to get a hold of this transcript.

I mean, come on, talk about your heavenly exclusives!

Manny Pacquiao has said he’s had a one on one conversation with God, I mean God Himself.

Mere mortals like you or I might get to rap out with gateminder St. Peter or some lesser angel but Pacman spoke personally to and with God.

Megamanny and the Supreme Being, just chatting about life and love and like that.

Manny will tell you all about Him in an upcoming book.

Here’s how it all went down:

Manny: Your name is what, dude? Where you from, who you with?

God: I walk on water. Then I turn that water into wine, my Pinoy pal. Hint, hint. You know that Quiapo church in Manila that you go before and after your fights?

Manny: Sure, I pray not for victory but to fight well and that my opponent and I don’t get hurt. What is Quiapo to you, buddy boy?

God: It’s what you might call one of my branch offices, I’ve got more locations that Starbucks, McDonalds and Balut Express put together. My chief annex is in Rome, that’s where my chief marketing officer works.


Manny: Wait a minute, fella. Rome as in the Vatican? One of my dreams is to take Jinkee and the kids there to visit with the Pope.

God: I can arrange that, would you like a reservation, Papal visits, that’s child’s play for me. I can hook you and the family up.

Manny: Gee, thanks, that would be neat. You don’t charge sanctioning fees do you?

God: Nothing mandatory but we will pass the offertory basket around, I think you could afford to put some biscuits in the basket especially after this Floyd Mayweather Jr. bonanza.

Manny: God, does it make me fight better because I kneel and bless myself in the ring, I was wondering.

God: I want to be kind, it’s my nature, but your brother Bobby genuflects and makes the Sign of the Cross also. Let’s just say I gave you more fistic talent than I’ve given anybody in your generation other than Money May.

Manny: God, I don’t trash talk my foes, you know this. I don’t belittle them, you know this. But I should tell you this about Mayweather, just so you know.

God: Haha, you forget I am already all knowing, my son.

Manny: Will I beat Mayweather on March 13, Bossman? It would mean a lot, not just to me but to every other Filipino man, woman and child, whether they are Catholic, Muslim or devout followers of Lady Gaga.

God: Got to go, Kid, got some emergency calls, some real disasters, some real human suffering. You just do your best and stay humble and pious.

Manny: Thanks so much, I’ll do that. Any final words for me, Your Lordship?

God: Yeah, next time don’t be so cheap. No more collect calls. We just put in a new system Up Here.

Manny: What is it called?

God: Pay per view. You give me your soul and I give you what you need.

Manny: Hate to be a pest but can Mayweather beat me?

God: Not to be cute but I can’t say absolutely not.

Manny: Then I’ll say it, he hasn’t got a prayer.

God: From your lips to my ears. Gotta go.